Zig Ziglar tells the story of a young man he met at one of his speeches. The boy, about 11 years old, walked up with his mom to meet Ziglar after the speech. Ziglar studied the boy, then looked him in the eye and said, “I can see that you are definitely a winner.” After exchanging pleasantries, the boy and his mom left the speech.
A short time later, Ziglar received a letter from the boy. In it, the boy talked about all the ways his life had improved since meeting Ziglar. It seems his grades had improved, his teachers were treating him better, and he had a lot more friends. In the letter he said, “I guess I am going to be a winner.”
Had anything changed in the boy’s life? Did he get smarter, funnier, or have a major personality change? No. The only change was a moment of encouragement from someone the boy respected. That one moment made a big difference.
Our children have the potential to do great things. Often all they need is encouragement, the knowledge that someone believes in them. It isn’t hard to be an encourager for your kids. It just takes a commitment to seeing and talking about the great things they do. Here are 4 tips to help you and your kids get the most out of your positive words:
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Be specific. Let your kids know exactly what you are praising them for. Saying, “Great job!” is good. Every child likes to hear that. But telling her, “I loved the way you helped your sister pick up her toys,” is better.
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Touch your children while you praise them. Sometimes we forget how important physical contact is. Kids (and adults) thrive when they get physical affection. While you’re verbally praising them, give them a hug, put your hand on their shoulder, or just a pat on the head. It will reinforce your positive message.
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Encourage good intentions. Sometimes kids mean to do well, but they don’t get it quite right. The result is often a mess that needs to be cleaned. We parents need to recognize a child’s attempts to do the right thing, even when the result isn’t what they hoped for. Many times all the child needs is a little guidance to achieve their desired result.
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Praise your kids publicly and privately. Kids need to know that you are proud of them. You show them your pride when you praise them in front of friends and family. Encouraging your kids privately lets them know that your public praise isn’t just a show; it’s how you really feel about them.
Kids make mistakes. They do things that they shouldn’t do. Too often, we parents focus on fixing those aspects of our kids’ lives. But we need to also recognize all the terrific things our kids say and do.
Commit today to becoming an encouraging parent. Let your kids know they are a loved and valued part of your life.
Richard and Jennifer Jarman publish Wholehearted Parents, a free e-mail newsletter for parents. The newsletter features short articles on subjects that parents care about, and news about toy safety and other parental concerns. Subscribe today and receive a FREE report, “The Right Way to Discipline a Child,” by going to http://wholeheartedparents.com/Newsletter.html
Tags: medical, anxiety, bipolar, psychology
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