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Keeping Your Cool Managing Your Reactions to Stress:
The television is
blaring…the phone is ringing…and someone has just arrived
at the door. You are under stress—big-time. As a result, you
may feel a loss of control. If it’s a particularly bad day,
you might even feel as if there is no way out. You feel overwhelmed
and ill-equipped to deal with the stress you’re under.
What you may not realize is that
it is entirely within your power to manage stress in a healthier way.
You may not have control over what happens in your life—but
you can control your reaction to various stressors. All it takes is
a little advanced planning on your part.
Of course, a knee-jerk reaction to
stress is to try to remove the stress entirely from your life. But
this is not always possible and, in some cases, it may not be the
best approach. Instead, you might consider limiting your contact with
a certain stressor. In other words, if you’re really feeling
overwhelmed, can you take a break from the action? Just a few minutes
outside can help clear your head, enabling you to better handle stress
in the long run. Another effective strategy is to consider delayed
gratification. For instance, say you enjoy a frappuccino in the morning,
but you hate the commute to get to the coffee shop. Perhaps you can
make the frappuccino a one-day-a-week treat instead of an everyday
affair.
Another habit that can make stress
more difficult than it needs to be is all-or-nothing thinking. For
instance, if you’re having trouble studying for a test, do you
assume that you are going to fail? If you have a disagreement with
your spouse, do you think that he or she will eventually leave you?
If your mother is ill, do you begin worrying that she will die soon?
Such disaster-oriented thinking can make a difficult situation even
more trying, even more stressful. By adopting a more realistic approach
to problems, you can limit your emotional reaction to stress.
Perfectionism may also be at the
root of your stress. If you think that you have to be perfect in the
office and at home, you can never really relax. In other words, you
are putting yourself under unnecessary stress. If you begin to focus
on performing tasks well rather than perfectly, you can establish
more realistic expectations for your life. This new-and-improved thinking
can enable you to face challenges with more confidence.
Another mode of thinking that can
lead to greater stress is a winner-take-all philosophy. If you feel
as if you always have to win, you set yourself up for cut-throat competition.
This can be extremely destructive, especially to your interpersonal
relationships. It is much better to adopt an “everybody wins”
philosophy. According to this viewpoint, the critical thing is to
perform those tasks that will do the most good. Following this philosophy,
you are far more likely to be able to take stress in stride.
Losing your temper can also cause
you unnecessary stress. If you are feeling as if you are about to
explode, think of something calming, such as an ocean or a tree. Don’t
give into the temptation to self-destruct. Getting angry will not
solve your problem and could, in fact, create additional problems.
If you feel as if your blood is about to boil, stay cool, take a step
back, and re-assess your options. With a clear head, you may be able
to find the solution to your problem relatively quickly. Your stress
level should also drop.
It should be said that it is not
easy to control your reactions to stress. It takes a great deal of
time, patience, and emotional effort. If you tend to react quickly
to stress, you might have to teach yourself to slow your reactions.
You will have to learn to make controlling your reactions to stress
a habit. It is well worth the work involved. Otherwise, you could
find yourself battling a stress-related illness. When all else fails,
remember this slogan: Take a breath and take a break. While you might
lose some time in the short run, you could benefit a great deal over
the long haul. And your friends and family might notice a distinct
change in your emotional reaction to stress.
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