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Are Your Kids Stressing You Out?:
Remember the first
time you saw your first-born child? You might have been amazed at
her eyes, or mesmerized by the perfection of his hands. You might
have dutifully recorded the first smile, the first laughs, the first
steps, the first dance. He or she became the most important individual
in your life. When that little person came into your world, you knew
that your life had changed forever.
There is nothing quite
like the joy of parenthood. It can lift your spirits on the most miserable
day. It gives you a reason to rise in the morning, and a good excuse
for blowing bubbles, catching fireflies, or gazing at a fireworks
display. When you give your child a hug at night, you know that all
is right with the universe.
However, parenthood
can also be quite stressful. There are so many demands on your time,
so many commitments you need to fulfill. Your responsibilities can
leave you feeling anxious and frustrated. If your child is sick, or
is having trouble in school, or has become involved in drug or alcohol
abuse, your stress level could rise to the max.
Unfortunately, there
is nothing you can do to eliminate the stressors associated with parenthood.
They simply come with the territory. While you can guide your child,
you cannot expect to control him or her, particularly when your child
reaches the teenage years. Therefore, you have to learn to somehow
manage the stress of parenthood before it gets the better of you.
The most important
strategy you can adopt is to keep the communication going between
yourself and your child, even when it becomes difficult. Your stress
level will be greatly reduced if you can talk with your child, especially
when something is bothering him or her. It is important for your child
to know that your love is unconditional, and that he or she can turn
to you at any time of the day or night. Strengthening the bond of
trust can do a great deal to eliminate your stress.
Another stress-reducing
tact you can take is to set aside time to spend with your child—other
than helping him or her with homework. This is particularly important
if you have more than one child. You need some fun time with your
child—to let him or her know that you care. Plan for an afternoon
of rollerskating or an evening playing checkers. You’ll find
that such relaxing activities can help to alleviate your stress.
Also, it is important
that you build into your day a break in the action. Have your husband
or wife watch the children for ten minutes while you re-group. This
is particularly important if you find yourself under so much stress
that you are about to lose your temper. Give yourself a timeout—and
watch your stress level drop considerably.
Mention needs to be
made about the special stress that single parents feel. Theirs is
a difficult lot and the pressures can be intense. That is why it is
so critically important for single parents to strengthen their support
systems. They need to have a parent, brother or sister, or friend
they can rely on when the stress of parenting becomes overwhelming.
Just having someone to talk to can be a tremendous stress-reliever.
In other cases, a single parent might need someone to watch his or
her children for the night so that the parent can re-group. Asking
for help is not a sign of weakness—it is indicative of great
emotional strength. If you find yourself falling apart, don’t
wait for a crisis to get some assistance. If you turn to others for
support, you will find that your family unit will only grow stronger.
Parenting is perhaps
the single greatest responsibility a person can hold. As a result,
there is a tremendous amount of stress involved. Recognizing that
fact is an important part of the parenting process. Once you are attuned
to stress—and the causes of it—you are more likely to
be able to manage it well. It is important also for you to recognize
that stress management is an on-going process—that it doesn’t
happen overnight. However, with time, you can become a first-rate
stress manager.
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